#NYR Twitter Ten Commandments

It may surprise you that this even exists but it does. If you fail to follow these #NYR Twitter Ten Commandments, you may be ridiculed and ostracized from the NYR Twitter Community.

I sadly have probably broken all of these. Take heed my friends…Be warned!

#NYR TWITTER TEN COMMANDMENTS

 

  1. Thou shalt have no other King aside from Henrik Lundqvist
  2. Thou shalt not worship any other King aside from Henrik Lundqvist
  3. Thou shalt not take the King’s name in vain
  4. Remember to blame Tom Poti, Michal Rozsival, Michael Del Zotto, Tanner Glass, Dan Girardi for everything
  5. Honor corsi and all fancy stats
  6. Thou shall not kill or call into question Derek Stepan as a #1 center or Ryan McDonagh’s greatness
  7. Thou shall not commit infidelity of Adam Clendening or any other player corsi believes in
  8. Thou shall not steal Adam Clendening’s line up spot
  9. Thou shall not bear false witness to what possession stats have to say about all players NYR Twitter thinks suck
  10. Thou shall not covet anything FullTilt Rangers says

If you can abide by these rules on Twitter, you will be warmly welcomed and embraced. If not, you will likely be attacked and subtweeted ad nauseam.

Now go enjoy your Sunday.

P.S. This is satire. So relax.

Anthony Scultore has been covering the New York Rangers and the NHL since 2014. His work also appears at... More about Anthony Scultore

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