Rebooting the Rangers Hollywood Style

Henrik Lundqvist

From time to time, we like when fans want to contribute to the blog. One such fan, Marc Williams who runs All Things Rangers and loves movies came up with this “Fan”tasy reboot.

Reboot: Hollywood Style

Baby Baby Baby! The New York Rangers are a good franchise and people will pay top dollar to see them, but it’s clear they need a reboot. After all, reboots are all the rage these days. James Bond, X-Men, Superman to name a few. Heck Batman and Spider-man got two. Lara Croft was rebooted in TWO mediums! So why not reboot a quality franchise like the New York Rangers. Sure they were two wins from a Conference Finals visit in 2017, but bubelah that was last year. It only took Spider-man 3 to reboot that franchise. Ok, enough setup…let’s talk business.

Let’s talk Star Power. We need a catchy star to bring in the fans. I know what you’re thinking; Rick Nash. Baby, he’s yesterday’s news. The days of him scoring 40 goals are over. A 20 year old would have to go back to high school to recall 2015. Sure he can still defend and go on streaks but this team needs a WOW player. Ya know, someone that can consistently get the fans out of their seats like Jaromir Jagr or Brian Leetch used to. When was the last time the Rangers had a game breaking talent like that? Been too long. Sure we got Hank, but he can only stay in the crease. We need someone that can influence the entire production. First on my list, John Tavares. Why not? Gotta get a star, remember? Or maybe Erik Karlsson? Sure both will cost us a pretty penny, but gotta make this shiny and new! Whatta about Mika Zibanejad? Let’s just say he’s looking as good as Jae Courtney in -ya know- every movie he’s in. We can still reboot with Hank. Judy Dench stayed on for the James Bond reboot.

How about the supporting cast? Ya know some reboots got excellent supporting actors to make their movie memorable. Heath Ledger was a great Joker. Whatta about Michael Keaton in Spider-man: Homecoming? We gotta get the right support for our stars. Is Mats Zuccarello still right for this team? How will Chris Kreider return? Pavel Buchnevich is good when he’s “on-screen” while Kevin Hayes may have found his role. However, I’m not sure if J.T. Miller or Ryan McDonagh fits. We can recast them as well as a couple of defensemen and BOOM! There you go.

We gotta have some young stars in this thing to appeal to the tweens, baby. Do the kids really want to see Peter Holland and David Desharneis? Of course not. Seen that movie and it ain’t good. Gotta get some millennial attitude and looks on this project. Filip Chytil looks great and everyone loves the moxie Lias Andersson showed by throwing his World Junior Silver Medal away. Silver, huh? That’s for losers and we need a winner, babe. Sure, we can get Igor Shestyorkin, but he’s only an understudy for the first film. We’ll build up his character slowly for the sequels.

Stop right there! I know what you’re thinking, “Whatta about the director?” Fortunately our producers –Jim Dolan, Glen Sather and Jeff Gorton- will let the director have their own cut. Sure we got Alain Vigneault under contract, but if we change the script enough, is he really the guy you want directing, babe? Maybe a new director that works better with young talent like Dave Tippett. Just saying.

Ok, so there’s my quick pitch for the reboot. Baby, we gotta get this done. I guarantee it’ll be a hit! Definitely better than the new Fantastic Four movie! You can take that too the bank, bubie.

Anthony Scultore has been covering the New York Rangers and the NHL since 2014. His work also appears at... More about Anthony Scultore

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